


True Love

by Jam_less



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Stray Kids, changlix - Fandom
Genre: M/M, MarriedChangbin, SingleFelix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 20:41:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15323877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jam_less/pseuds/Jam_less
Summary: True love is finding your soulmate in your best friend.Even if they don't love you back.





	True Love

"I do," Changbin's voice swirled in Felix's ears as he sat in his seat, wishing he had never agreed to come to his best friend's wedding. 

His stomach lurched and bile rose in his throat when he looked up to see Changbin and his bride, Lee Soomi standing together in front of the crowd, a priest speaking to them so everybody could hear, yet the words passed Felix's ears which instead where filled with ringing and the blur of his surroundings. 

Everyone looked so happy, their faces lit up by bright smiles and sparkling eyes. To fit in wasn't hard, Felix forcing a smile of his own, a mask of happiness covering his pain. He doubted anybody would even notice if he didn't force a smile, with how focused they were on the almost married couple, but there was one person who would notice, and unfortunately that was the only person here who truly mattered to Felix. 

Seo Changbin. 

The boy who had noticed Felix when nobody else had, the boy who had befriended him and cared for him. Changbin had been his only friend, and because of that, there was no way Felix would let him down. For that, Felix would do anything to keep Changbin happy. Faking a smile was easy, if it was for Changbin. 

So Felix did just that. 

He watched silently, plastering a smile to his face as his best friend stood before them with his bride, and Felix pretended to be happy. For Changbin. 

It was all too easy, his muscles having practiced the art of deception more than he could remember, lies spilling from his lips and joyous expressions hiding his true feelings. 

Every moment was just another practiced act, another easy lie. And with every lie, another part of himself fell away, and he convinced himself more and more that this was how he truly felt, burying his true self for the one person who had actually understood and cared for him. Not the lies, not the fake smile, but him. His actual self. 

He felt the pain in his chest growing, the sensation of falling becoming overpowering, and as he watched Changbin lean closer, closing his eyes in joy as he kissed the girl in front of him, the mask was blown from Felix, his pain flooding past the wall he had built to keep it well hidden. 

His stomach lurched in jealousy and anger, and Felix looked away, struggling to regain his composure as tears threatened to push from his tightly shut eyes. It only took a second for him to regain control of his emotions, shoving his pain down his throat and pulling the mask back over his countenance, but he still found anger at himself coursing through him, the little slip having had the possibility to blow his cover. 

Then he looked back up, seeing that Changbin and Soomi had pulled away, though they still held each other's hands, their eyes sparkling with joy. 

Knowing it was his job to support the older boy who stood before them, Felix swallowed the betrayal that nagged at him, the first to stand up and start clapping, his white teeth flashing in a smile as Changbin looked at him, the older boy's eyes glistening with joy as they locked with Felix's own. 

The younger boy forced his smile wider, struggling to control himself and praying that his eyes didn't give himself away. 

If there was any sort of longing, anger or sadness that peeked out from behind his cover, Felix was rushed with relief at the fact that Changbin took no notice, turning back to Soomi with a smile that caused Felix's breath to catch in his throat, even if the beautiful expression hadn't been directed toward him.

He was only given a few seconds to admire what might have been his had he built up the courage, before he was forced to watch as the bride walked cheerfully back down the isle, hand in hand with the one person Felix loved, now her husband.

 

 

"Are you okay?" a soft, deep voice floated through Felix's ears, causing him to look up from where his eyes had been trailing across the city below them. 

He stood leaning against the fence at the edge of the balcony, overlooking the city. The building in which Changbin's wedding had taken place was located on a hill nearby the city, allowing for a fantastic view of the entire downtown. 

The wedding was practically over, and Felix had managed to escape to the empty balcony without being noticed, or so he thought. 

Now that Changbin stood before him, he set a smile to his lips and turned to the older boy. 

"I'm just happy for you," he lied, earning a smile from Changbin, the expression sending a shiver down his spine. "The wedding turned out amazing."

"I couldn't have done it without you," Changbin responded, throwing an arm playfully around Felix's shoulders, causing the younger boy's skin to light on fire, his mind overwhelmed at the scent of Changbin's cologne. "When you find that special somebody, I'll be right there to do the same for you," his tone was reassuring, and though Felix knew he would never find anyone to replace the person he had lost today, he was filled with a sense of peace. 

"Hopefully that's sooner than later," Felix replied. His jaw clenched as he imagined giving his vow at his own wedding, Changbin standing next to him, holding his hand and smiling his charming, wonderful smile that sent butterflies into chaos in Felix's stomach. 

"Is there someone you like?" Changbin asked, his eyes lit with a curious, excited sparkle that Felix couldn't look away from. 

"I guess there is someone..." he trailed off, struggling not to shout out everything he felt for Changbin. It was too late now, he had missed his chance. Even if he had told Changbin, there was no way that the feeling was mutual, it would have just ruined their friendship. "I've liked them for a while," he confessed, closing his eyes and trying to stop himself before he gave away something important, "but I can't tell them."

"Why not?" Changbin asked, furrowing his brows at the anger he saw in his friend's face. 

"It's complicated," Felix replied, wishing he was smooth enough to change the subject without Changbin attempting to dig deeper. "Why don't we head back to the wedding."

"It's practically over, there's just a bit of dancing," Changbin responded, "but I should probably get back now so I can say goodbye to everyone."

He sighed before shooting Felix a heart-stopping smile accompanied by a wave as he began to walk back to where the others were. "You'll have to tell me about this person some other time," he assured Felix, looking back and stopping. "Thank you so much for this, I really couldn't have done it without you."

Felix only swallowed his longing and set a fake smile to his face for what seemed like the millionth time. "Anytime."

Changbin smiled, turning away from Felix and passing around the corner to head back to the wedding, out of Felix's sight. The younger boy let out a sigh, closing his eyes and sinking to the floor. 

Now that he was alone, he felt the image he had been struggling to keep melt away, tears slipping from his tightly shut eyes. 

It's all my fault, he thought to himself, ripping at his neatly brushed and styled hair. If only I had told him earlier, if I had just done something.

With every second that passed, more tears pushed forward and he knew he was right. Even if Changbin had turned him down, or the confession had ruined their friendship, it would be better than to watch as the person he loved was so happy with someone else. 

Felix slammed his fists into the cold tile floor, gritting his teeth as he struggled to accept the reality, his world falling apart at his own command. He wanted to yell out his anger and pain, but knew it would be no use. 

He had lost Changbin, and there was nothing he could do to gain him back.


End file.
